Friday, February 27, 2009

The Tom Brady Love Hour

Dear Ace Man, Tom Brady, is the best, quarterback, in the NFL...

If you can't tell from the title of tonight's entry, Bill Simmons of is the podcast guest tonight. They jump right into things by comparing the size of their podcast wangs - Adam has already surpassed one million total downloads, woohoo! He gives a shout-out to all of his loyal minions.

They jump in immediately with talk of YouPorn, and then Ferris Bueller. Bill and Adam rightly bring up that Ferris, the most popular kid in school, wouldn't really hang out with Cameron, the depressed loser. He would be busy banging his hot girlfriend. Then, they pitch the greatest made-up independent movie ever, Harvey Milk Junior High, starring Shia LaBeouf, who pretends to be gay to attend an all-gay school. I would say more, but I don't want to spoil all the surprises.

Adam also says Fast Break is definitely in the Top 10 of Gabe Kaplan movies. The other nine are probably all clip show DVDs of Battle of the Network Stars.

Adam is going to a buffet tomorrow with a card system - If the card is on one side, they keep bringing the beef. Bill says this commonly wrecks Cousin Sal, as he has too much pride to ever turn the card over. Adam says they really need to extend this system to strippers, and re-tells the tale about how David Alan Grier once got a stripper who had been stabbed 18 times by her ex-husband. Bill says when he's done, he normally tries to encircle himself with chairs - a chair armada or offensive line preventing entry to his junk.

Podcast re-enactment: (Bill) I'm surprised they don't show more of the bathroom parts on Survivor. (Adam) I don't watch Survivor. (Bill, surprised) Really? I thought you loved Survivor! (Adam) Oh sorry, I thought we were talking about Lost.

Donnie talks about editing on Big Brother, but because he isn't mic'ed properly, we can't hear it. Adam and Bill laugh uproariously about it ;_; Adam and Bill think some guy will make a million dollars by releasing a tape of all the hot broads on Survivor being all naked.

Other topics for discussion: Bathroom etiquette, ass-talk, the YouPorn sweet spot, the worst bathroom scenes, how to guarantee an Oscar win, Survivor bathroom talk and how satellite radio will be killed by podcasts. Adam says he's still trying to get Norm MacDonald in for a podcast, especially to hear more about Norm's classic story - he had sex with one of his best friend's wife, while his friend was mowing the lawn, and it was anal sex. Holy hell! Bill puts in a request for Jim Norton, and Adam says that Kimmel, Dana Gould and Joel McHale are all on the future guest list.

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Anonymous said...

Thanks for building this blog. And thanks for knowing what the hell you are talking about when it comes to Ace and his antics!


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