Tuesday, March 3, 2009

WOOOOOO!!! Twinkie hole, baby!

How does DAG sound making love?
"Don't, you, look at me, I will, bust, your, behind... zzzzzz...."

Tonight's guest is... David. Alan. Grier! Adam's main man! And they're on firm, warm ground to start, talking about baby poo. David says he's uncomfortable cleaning his daughter's vagine (not named Estradial) of poop, and Adam agrees, since they've been worshiping that part of the anatomy for too many years. It's just weird and uncomfortable for them, like sex in the back of a Volkswagon.

This switches to a chat about DAG's childhood years, which Adam has never gotten into that much. DAG never realized that his father was miserable, but he realizes it now as he reviews pictures.

Weaze gets on the mic to stall for time while Adam goes to look for some pictures of his own mother, and although he tells him this, there are about 10 seconds of dead air... And Lynette (Adam's wife) gets on the mic! Her voice actually sounds much more normal than on The Adam Carolla Show and The Adam Carolla Project. She says Adam's dad had a huge afro in the pictures, and then Adam's agent, James "Babydoll" Dixon gets in the room, but doesn't get on the mic. Adam and DAG then talk about the picture for a bit, and as Adam would say to Dr. Drew all the time, it's great radio to be talking about a picture.

When Adam's parents got divorced, they didn't bother to make it official because there was nothing to split up. Adam's dad got into his 1963 Volkswagen bug, and went to crash at his ex-wife's house that they still lived in. DAG's dad... moved from Detroit to San Francisco, and wrote Black Rage, a national bestseller??? Holy hell! DAG said his dad would be on The Merv Griffin Show and banging chicks in orgies. Good lord...

DAG said his dad wore a dashiki around, and because he could rap about politics and The Man, he would get laid constantly. Adam imagines that about 98 percent of the guys in that era talked like that because it was the only way to get laid. DAG tried to join the Black Panthers when he was younger, but they told him to come back when he was a bit older. DAG's dad lives outside of San Diego now, and while they're OK, David says he grew up scared to death, in an intimidating way, of his father. Charles Dutton, the actor, spent time in the joint for manslaughter, and DAG said he was afraid of DAG's dad when they met.

So, DAG e-mailed Drew to get on Loveline at one point, after Adam had left, and tried three times to no avail. Drew said the program director wouldn't allow Davey G. on anymore, and DAG was a little prickly because Drew sort of strung him along about it instead of just telling him. Now, whenever he talks to Drew, DAG needles him about the whole incident. Adam calls BS and says that DAG is acting like a chick. DAG says okay, he'll make up with Dr. Drew.

DAG and Adam then talk about Dancing With the Stars; Adam was voted off last year, and DAG is a competitor this season. He said what constantly held him back was not talking, but trying to explain to Julianne Hough what a whirling dervish is. DAG is dancing with Kym Johnson (left) this season. Adam says that he had to explain to Hough he would only be practicing two to four hours a week because he wasn't trying to fuck her like her past partners. To close up the show, DAG says he doesn't mind practicing so much because it keeps him out of the house with the poopy vagina, bringing the show full circle.

Other topics for discussion - How DAG got started doing comedy, Adam's own crappy roots, how Drew loves ass humor, the a-hole math behind Adam being Adam, how the Kimmel guys screwed over DAG at a playoff Lakers game, and Dancing With The Stars. Tomorrow's guest is Dana Gould, and I do imagine that Huell Howser might be stopping by as well...

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