Tuesday, March 3, 2009

WOOOOOO!!! Twinkie hole, baby!

How does DAG sound making love?
"Don't, you, look at me, I will, bust, your, behind... zzzzzz...."

Tonight's guest is... David. Alan. Grier! Adam's main man! And they're on firm, warm ground to start, talking about baby poo. David says he's uncomfortable cleaning his daughter's vagine (not named Estradial) of poop, and Adam agrees, since they've been worshiping that part of the anatomy for too many years. It's just weird and uncomfortable for them, like sex in the back of a Volkswagon.

This switches to a chat about DAG's childhood years, which Adam has never gotten into that much. DAG never realized that his father was miserable, but he realizes it now as he reviews pictures.

Weaze gets on the mic to stall for time while Adam goes to look for some pictures of his own mother, and although he tells him this, there are about 10 seconds of dead air... And Lynette (Adam's wife) gets on the mic! Her voice actually sounds much more normal than on The Adam Carolla Show and The Adam Carolla Project. She says Adam's dad had a huge afro in the pictures, and then Adam's agent, James "Babydoll" Dixon gets in the room, but doesn't get on the mic. Adam and DAG then talk about the picture for a bit, and as Adam would say to Dr. Drew all the time, it's great radio to be talking about a picture.

When Adam's parents got divorced, they didn't bother to make it official because there was nothing to split up. Adam's dad got into his 1963 Volkswagen bug, and went to crash at his ex-wife's house that they still lived in. DAG's dad... moved from Detroit to San Francisco, and wrote Black Rage, a national bestseller??? Holy hell! DAG said his dad would be on The Merv Griffin Show and banging chicks in orgies. Good lord...

DAG said his dad wore a dashiki around, and because he could rap about politics and The Man, he would get laid constantly. Adam imagines that about 98 percent of the guys in that era talked like that because it was the only way to get laid. DAG tried to join the Black Panthers when he was younger, but they told him to come back when he was a bit older. DAG's dad lives outside of San Diego now, and while they're OK, David says he grew up scared to death, in an intimidating way, of his father. Charles Dutton, the actor, spent time in the joint for manslaughter, and DAG said he was afraid of DAG's dad when they met.

So, DAG e-mailed Drew to get on Loveline at one point, after Adam had left, and tried three times to no avail. Drew said the program director wouldn't allow Davey G. on anymore, and DAG was a little prickly because Drew sort of strung him along about it instead of just telling him. Now, whenever he talks to Drew, DAG needles him about the whole incident. Adam calls BS and says that DAG is acting like a chick. DAG says okay, he'll make up with Dr. Drew.

DAG and Adam then talk about Dancing With the Stars; Adam was voted off last year, and DAG is a competitor this season. He said what constantly held him back was not talking, but trying to explain to Julianne Hough what a whirling dervish is. DAG is dancing with Kym Johnson (left) this season. Adam says that he had to explain to Hough he would only be practicing two to four hours a week because he wasn't trying to fuck her like her past partners. To close up the show, DAG says he doesn't mind practicing so much because it keeps him out of the house with the poopy vagina, bringing the show full circle.

Other topics for discussion - How DAG got started doing comedy, Adam's own crappy roots, how Drew loves ass humor, the a-hole math behind Adam being Adam, how the Kimmel guys screwed over DAG at a playoff Lakers game, and Dancing With The Stars. Tomorrow's guest is Dana Gould, and I do imagine that Huell Howser might be stopping by as well...

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Monday, March 2, 2009

The Internet is Changing the Game for Celebrities


Podcasting? That's so 2005, you might say. With online video, social networking and microblogging remaining social media's most-talked-about technologies, it's easy to forget about podcasting.

Sure, the overoptimistic projections about podcasting's future haven't panned out. But that doesn't mean that podcasting can't be a powerful tool in the arsenal of entertainers and media personalities who increasingly have the ability to make it on their own.

Proof of that comes in the form of American entertainer Adam Carolla, who launched his own podcast on February 24 after CBS radio cancelled his show. Thanks to his contract, Carolla is reportedly unable to go back on radio through the end of the year and CBS is paying him quite well until then.

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That's important to me!

Larry Miller is tonight's guest, not to be confused with Mr. Belding.
One is happily married, while the other is still trying to bag coeds.


Adam starts by revealing that last week's downloads combined for 1.6 million downloads. Yay!

He then moves on to talk to tonight's guest, Larry Miller. He is not this guy, thankfully, who just died. He is this guy. You can purchase his book for $0.01 (plus shipping) on Amazon.com. Larry is a pretty polarizing figure among Carolla fans, but really, he has at least one great routine - the five stages of drinking. Somewhere, Bald Bryan just instinctively reached for a button to press, and finding none, a small, single tear rolled down his cheek.

Adam and Larry talk mostly about their similar backgrounds, and the coddling of kids, to start the podcast. They both talk at length about Pop Warner football and Little League, which evokes George Carlin's famous routine in my mind.

About 25 minutes in, it sounds like Larry punches the mic, but he doesn't get admonished for it. He does it again a bit later.

... To be honest, I was kind of going in and out with this podcast, and it's definitely the weakest effort so far. It's not so much a discussion of funny, more of a meeting of the minds between two men who grew up in a certain era. If Adam is a philosopher-warrior, and the funny aspects arise from his combative, warrior-like nature, then this podcast is definitely heavy on the philosophy with Larry Miller. Topics discussed include the difference in societal values from the 1970s and now, how awesome car air conditioning is, and how grateful Adam is for all of his minions following him over to this podcasting thing.

Other guests this week - Dana Gould and Norm MacDonald, along with Leo on Wednesday. Woohoo!

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Sunday, March 1, 2009

More carefully crafted Carolla-esque cruft!

Minka says, "Adam is number one."

Combing the web for more Carolla-related news, until the podcast drops (hopefully) late tonight...

- According to himself, Leo Laporte will be a guest on the podcast this Wednesday with Adam. Leo is a technology guru, so it should be pretty interesting to hear him with Adam, who is always interested to hear about how gadgets work. Also, Leo is originally from Providence, R.I., according to Wiki. Woohoo! Go Rhody!

- Remember how upset Adam got about the octo-mom? Well don't worry! She has a $1 million dollar offer to do a porno from Vivid. Oh wait, it gets better, as their plan for the shoot would have her in eight scenes with eight different men. All class, all class. The only thing worse than a poor mom having eight kids is that poor mom suddenly getting a million bucks because she became a porn star. Good times! There is also info in that story about Kim Kardashian's fat ass not being photographed, literally, if you're into that.

- The bad news: Alcohol consumption can lead to an increased risk of cancer. Good news: Only for women! Woohoo, drink up Ace Man! That means more booze for you. The study was done by Oxford, which is kind of a well-known place over in England. A little better than junior, junior, junior, junior, junior, junior college.

- There is a quick blurb shout-out for Carolla at, of all places, Cleveland.com here.

- Showing that no celebrity is too small or too far away from the A-List, Celebrity Baby Blog has an entry on... Teresa Strasser. They do include a few things I never knew, such as that she was considered for a spot on The View, and the real name of Batman, who is an accountant for IBM. I guess that's public knowledge now. Teresa blogged about The View opening here, saying that the producers also wanted someone likely to get preggerz. Like, seriously? Really?

- And finally, in news that will make Adam contemplate suicide, Medea Goes to Jail edged out Jonas Brothers: The 3-D Concert Experience at the box office this weekend. Medea earned $16.5 million, while Jonas took home $12.7 million. Total gross of The Hammer - $443,591.

Anywho. A new podcast should be coming out sometime in the next 24 hours, if the Sunday to Thursday production schedule is still intact. Expect to see a post sometime soon after that. Lates!

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Adam Carolla’s Podcast: 1M Downloads… Radio, XM Officially Dead?


Last week, Adam Carolla transitioned from national radio talk show host. His contract with CBS prevents him from returning to radio (supposedly through 2009) - and in exchange, he is paid handsomely in the meantime. So Adam Carolla decided started a podcast - launching it last week. It had over 1,000,000 downloads… a staggering number.

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